Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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