Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
