Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
