The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
