Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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