some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
