Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
