I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
