Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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