I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
