So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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