she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
