she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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