Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
