just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think pants incapable of making pants work
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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