She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
