I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
whose ass print is on the piano?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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