ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize