R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
