I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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