Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
