We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
