I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
