He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
