i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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