I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize