I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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