dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
