This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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