Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
