he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
