cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
