every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
