To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
