never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
