12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
