I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
