Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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