Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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