it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
