I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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