Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
