We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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