so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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