yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
