She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
