I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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