So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
