Umm I'm too high to move.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A bitchslap is in order.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
