You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
