wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
