Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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