I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
