you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
