were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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