how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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