I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.