it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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