i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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