The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.