I feel like I'm in dance class right now
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November