Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.