You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.