you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
