i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
