I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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