Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We're too hungover to prance.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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