the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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