we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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Do I have a choice?
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I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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