lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
