I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
