It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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