Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
